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Grey

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So – ahem. I am going to admit something that is really bothering me, even though I know it shouldn’t be. 

Really.
Bothering.
Me.

It started with a stray grey right on the crown of my head.
And then I found another.
And another.
And (seriously?) another.

Girls and boys, I am losing this battle. 
I am starting on the road to grey-ville.

I feel like such a hypocrite to be bothered by this, since my hubby started going grey in his mid-twenties (right around the time we married. Hmmmm….), and I have been assuring and reassuring him ever since that he looks terrific. (Which, he really does.) But something about him walking over the other morning as we were getting ready next to one another to pluck a grey hair that was sticking out of my freshly coiffed ‘do was downright demoralizing. 

I’m turning the big 3-0 in less than two months. What I need to remind myself is that in those thirty trips around the sun, I have earned these greys. 

A fair share can be attributed to the day the phone cut out while I was talking to Matt, the last words I heard from his mouth being, “Oh no!” as he was hit by a drunk driver on his way home from working out of town. (By God’s hand, he walked away from that accident with nary a scratch.)

One comes from the afternoon I discovered that my budding preschool Picasso Jack had chosen to practice his art on his bedroom wall. With a Sharpie.

Another few come from the nights I walked the floors with a colicky newborn Charlotte, praying to God above to give me patience to love my daughter through those maddening screams.

A cluster was undoubtedly prompted by the round-the-clock breathing treatments 3-month-old Cecily received when she was struggling for every breath with RSV and pertussis.

I have earned one (or ten) for being pregnant for the majority of the last 6 years.

One for the low point I hit the other night when my current pregnancy-induced sciatica nearly forced me to ask Matt for help because I honestly didn’t think I could sit up to get out of bed. 

One for every time I’ve been startled awake in the dead of night to a little face mere inches from mine: “Mama, are you awake?”

One for every floor I’ve swept, to find it covered moments later with cheerios, goldfish, teddy grahams, or any combination thereof.

One for each night I’ve stayed up till the wee hours playing assistant to the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

One for each box I’ve unpacked as we’ve embarked on the adventure of two interstate moves.

One for each time I’ve peered down at my sleeping children, my heart bursting with joy at the beautiful little people they are becoming and more than a hint of sadness at how quickly the time is passing us by.

That list, my friends, constitutes a lot of greys. But, in a beautifully ironic way, that is also the stuff that a life fully lived consists of.

I don’t think I’ll ever really come to terms with going grey. I will probably start dyeing my hair before it becomes too noticeable. (My secret is safe with you, right?) But as I ponder what it means to grow older, I hope I never lose sight of how blessed I’ve been so far in my life. 

And I pray that I am someday content on that day when I look in the mirror to see a face framed entirely in grey, my head dancing with all of the memories and moments represented by each and every one.

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Comments

  1. Full Plate Designer says

    Beautifully said! I just turned 31 (yikes) yesterday, and have my father’s pre-mature grey gene. I had embraced the “sparkling highlights” until about six months ago when I started coloring. It had gotten VERY grey! But you captured the grey journey very well! I, too, look forward to going all natural at some point and embracing what my father (and live, in general) have given me. Such blessings!

  2. german219 says

    I started turning gray in my mid-twenties. I have colored it ever since. The part that drives me crazy is those darn gray hairs stick up! They are the wildest, most stubborn hairs and not only do they stick out in my dark hair, they literally stick out! Ugh!!

  3. Terrie Mathison says

    Great post! Yes life gives us those gray hairs as God guides us on our path of life and gives us our blessing and challenges.

    You will learn to love your hairdresser even more in the years to come and budget the way to use them as often as possible! That coming from a going very gray 44 year old.

    Nice to know your not alone, huh?!

  4. Grammy Goodwill says

    I had to laugh at some of the ways you got your gray hairs. I thought I turned gray way too early. (late 30’s and sooner than either of my older brothers. You know how much fun they had with that.) I was just too lazy to keep up with coloring it.

  5. Clairebears says

    Thank you for brighting my lunchtime in the office. It has made me chuckle and think and remember when I got my 1st grey hair, just after my daughter was born. And the fight I have to keep them hidden :0) One day maybe I will wear them with pride – just not yet!

  6. Carla @ More Than Tuesdays says

    Awwwww sounds like each and every gray was well earned! Though not very welcome, it seems! Ha! I started going grey around 23 (I’m 31 now), and I love my greys!! They’re mostly in what I affectionally call a “skunk stripe” on the left side of my head, but now they’re everywhere. I did notice they got a lot worse in the last year or so, now they show up on film from a few feet away.

    Oh well… embrace your highlights!! 🙂

  7. Lindsey Philbrick says

    The last several nights I have been finding several grey hairs on my head too and am freaking out. My husband insists that I am over-reacting and that no one notices them but me. I’ll be the big 3-0 in a couple of months too, and the grey’s are making that number seem much larger than it truly is. It felt like I pulled a couple dozen grey’s so I guess I’m going to have to start my list of where they all came from. Thanks for the chuckle this morning, it’s made my day.

  9. Cuties with curls says

    You earned everyone of those grey hairs….
    I think going gray is just part of life and some go earlier then others your beautiful, but for now hair dye is your best friend.

  10. Doreen says

    Yes, you have earned each one! But better to go grey than one’s hair falling out…thank you for sharing your thoughts [and don’t worry, your secret is safe with us].
    Signed,
    Almost 55 and still “blonde”.

  11. Laura @ ON{thelaundry}LINE says

    If it makes you feel better, my mom started greying in her late teens and by thirty was almost totally grey! I seem to have gotten my dad’s hair, which means I’ll start when I’m nearly 50, ehehehehehe. Anyways, my mom learned to embrace hers, because she got sick to death of dying it. When I go all the way grey I plan on adding a shock of hot pink because grey isn’t my natural color so why even bother anymore 😉

  12. kiki comin says

    Isn’t that the truth. LOVED this post. Wish the years and memories could show in other ways, but life is good regardless!:)

  13. Amy at Ameroonie Designs says

    Beautiful words, Amy! I love this post! My hair is blonde so I probably have way more gray than I can even see. I love the thought of Earning them though. That is what life is all about.
    xoxo,
    Amy

  14. Finding Charm says

    Going grey is when the majority of your hair is grey… so don’t worry! (There’s a percentage out there hairdresserrs use.) My first hairs was a big ol white patch. I’m a red head, so mine turn white, not grey. Can’t color white hair. For what it’s worth, I’m not even 25% grey (but past pulling them out, too many) and people notice my white, but I don’t consider myself grey or going grey yet, I’m a proud red head.

  16. Evelene S says

    I am at a point in my life where I just don’t want to color my hair and have been living with the grey for the last 5 years and everytime I wear my hair down I get so many compliments on how good it looks. I am absolutely flabbergasted because I just see grey and wish it were dark brown again. So there really is a silver lining to turning grey-sorry couldn’t help myself:-)

  17. Jeni says

    Such a great perspective, thanks! I am about to finally start dying mine as well. If I keep pulling them out, I’ll get too thin on top! 🙂

    And hey – regarding getting out of bed with sciatica: there is NO SHAME in rolling out until your feet reach the floor. Believe me!

    Love you, sweet Brrr Mama.

  18. Laura says

    Beautiful perspective! I think men usually look better with those greys. I plan to color and stay eternally young! 🙂

  19. Ali says

    LOL it is okay to freak a little when they all start showing up.

    But may I say that I’ve been getting white hair since I was bout 10 years old! So in my opinion you are lucky to only be getting it now 🙂

  20. Leah says

    I feel the same way about my stretch marks and the fine lines at the corners of my eyes…the last four years of being pregnant and nursing, I wouldn’t trade for anything, but it does take a toll on some things 🙂

  21. Mom in High Heels says

    What a great post. I started going grey in my mid-twenties. Coincidentally, I got breasts reight about the same time. I figure it’s a fair trade though as I can always color my hair. 🙂

  23. JMP says

    Dear Amy,
    I am sincerely touched – you express very nicely what I have been thinking for a while with 3 kids.
    Thank you.
    God bless you and your family.